I love your writing & reflections so much, Chris! When we did ON BOYS podcast, Janet & I used to often say that parenting is personal development on steroids. We start out thinking we're raising children and we're all focused on what we need to get them to do....and so often, what we really need to do it deal with OURSELVES and that's always the hardest part. I so love this line that you wrote - " I even think that kids instinctually find ways to open the basement door, seeking to understand more fully, or be in the most possible contact with their parents." That's one I'm going to be pondering for a long time.
My kids are now grown but this dancing with the shadow self is something I'm still working on, still learning. I think I'm going to print off that Rumi poem & put it somewhere I can see it frequently.
It’s difficult and frightening to examine how we parent. Even the best of parents make mistakes, but hopefully have the courage to course-correct eventually. Having the examples of our parents’ strategies can provide meaningful guides, whether you choose to emulate or avoid them. Considering the well-being of each member of the household is sometimes challenging but so important. Kudos to you for looking outward and inward to become the best parent you can be! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Good stuff. I've recently been challenged to identify and embrace my shadow sides. Tell you more in person!
I love your writing & reflections so much, Chris! When we did ON BOYS podcast, Janet & I used to often say that parenting is personal development on steroids. We start out thinking we're raising children and we're all focused on what we need to get them to do....and so often, what we really need to do it deal with OURSELVES and that's always the hardest part. I so love this line that you wrote - " I even think that kids instinctually find ways to open the basement door, seeking to understand more fully, or be in the most possible contact with their parents." That's one I'm going to be pondering for a long time.
My kids are now grown but this dancing with the shadow self is something I'm still working on, still learning. I think I'm going to print off that Rumi poem & put it somewhere I can see it frequently.
Wait, you mean you have to keep dancing with the shadow after the kids are grown?! Aw jeez. But seriously, thank you for the kind words here!
It’s difficult and frightening to examine how we parent. Even the best of parents make mistakes, but hopefully have the courage to course-correct eventually. Having the examples of our parents’ strategies can provide meaningful guides, whether you choose to emulate or avoid them. Considering the well-being of each member of the household is sometimes challenging but so important. Kudos to you for looking outward and inward to become the best parent you can be! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Chris - Thanks so much for this piece! I love your work and reference it all the time for mine. But this piece was so great that I wrote a piece about it - translating your incredible analogy for specifically the tween parent, with tween development baked in. I'd love your thoughts!: https://parentinggenius.substack.com/p/your-kid-knows-where-your-basement?r=2jfhz7&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web